The good:
My son and I took a scenic drive to get some hay at a farm in a nearby town we'd never visited.
The bad:
On the way home, most of my son's time was spent complaining that he wasn't allowed to get out and run around.
The good:
Our dog (a pound puppy) will be okay, although he's on antibiotics; and the vet didn't charge us for an "emergency" visit.
The bad:
Our dog has not yet realized how NOT to get in trouble around the farm.
The good:
My husband's parents are coming up for the weekend.
The bad:
The landlord's stopping by first.
The good:
We get our Jacob sheep today, something my Mom and Dad have been strong supporters of.
The worst of the bad:
My Dad called to tell me my Mom's cancer(sarcoma) has spread to her brain stem and she has one month to live, at most.
So, what will I do? My Mom's going into hospice care around the end of this week and my Dad says not to come until sometime after that. I'll take his advice and drive down with Jaiden on Tuesday of next week--I guess. Those plans could change quickly.
You have to understand...
Before I got pregnant, we were living in Florida (outside of Tampa). I loved the people I worked with, loved the kids I taught, but missed my brother and parents. My husbands family was spread across New Jersey and he missed them, too. My husband and I felt Florida would be "temporary" because we couldn't get anyone else to move down there and could only fly or drive North so many times each school year and summer.
We had started the wheels turning to go back North (I kept saying to my hubby--"They (our parents) aren't getting any younger." I learned I was pregnant almost immediately after returning to my family's home. We were trying to get settled--the move had cost us twice what the moving company estimated, so our savings was wiped out quickly. Land near my parents was outrageously priced and if THAT was expensive, land near my husband's parents was so outrageous it made the other look cheap.
My husband got a teaching job (he rocks) in Pennsylvania and we stayed with my folks while I went through a troublesome pregnancy (gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, mild toxicity) and a 36 hour labor. My son was born healthy (and a good size) and we started to look for a better paying job for my husband.
He found it teaching in New Jersey and for a while we were weekend husband and wife. When his Grandmother's health started to fail, we moved in with her and her 50 year old son. That didn't work out well and we started examining other options. My husband's eldest brother started looking for a large piece of land (while Karl was still teaching in NJ) in hopes of having a family-style "commune" (for lack of a better term).
We helped look, knowing that nothing in PA was suitable (price per acre) and the sister-in-law's parents didn't want to drive south of the Mason-Dixon as it would suddenly grow "too hot." Limited by our own economics and wanting to live near family in a rural or nearly rural environment, we helped look at properties. Finally this one was chosen and we suggested we move on up ahead so we could try and get certain chores and things of that sort started.
As soon as it became "real" people interested in living on the land started backing out. The sister-in-law's parents and brother ditched first. They liked the idea of visiting a country home, but not the obligation of living away from certain conveniences. The hubby's brothers (who had toyed with the idea) also renigged. They had started putting down roots elsewhere with their families and in-laws. The landlord/brother-in-law's friends found a suitable commune in Gettysburg. My parents then decided that gun laws and certain other things about New York state made living there a poor choice for them, too.
So we started driving 5 hours to see our loved ones. Granted, it was MUCH less than the 21 we would have driven from Florida, but it grew costlier and more exhausting.
Now we drive down whenever Karl has time (or there's an emergency), but we always wind up feeling pretty ineffective. So please understand if I rant about people living too far from family--I was one that thought being outside the 50 mile norm would be exciting and empowering--a way to strengthen my marriage (and it did). But my mother's rapidly declining health has shown me I made a mistake in my timing and geography. I hope you all don't make the same errors I have.
Take care,
Shannon
My son and I took a scenic drive to get some hay at a farm in a nearby town we'd never visited.
The bad:
On the way home, most of my son's time was spent complaining that he wasn't allowed to get out and run around.
The good:
Our dog (a pound puppy) will be okay, although he's on antibiotics; and the vet didn't charge us for an "emergency" visit.
The bad:
Our dog has not yet realized how NOT to get in trouble around the farm.
The good:
My husband's parents are coming up for the weekend.
The bad:
The landlord's stopping by first.
The good:
We get our Jacob sheep today, something my Mom and Dad have been strong supporters of.
The worst of the bad:
My Dad called to tell me my Mom's cancer(sarcoma) has spread to her brain stem and she has one month to live, at most.
So, what will I do? My Mom's going into hospice care around the end of this week and my Dad says not to come until sometime after that. I'll take his advice and drive down with Jaiden on Tuesday of next week--I guess. Those plans could change quickly.
You have to understand...
Before I got pregnant, we were living in Florida (outside of Tampa). I loved the people I worked with, loved the kids I taught, but missed my brother and parents. My husbands family was spread across New Jersey and he missed them, too. My husband and I felt Florida would be "temporary" because we couldn't get anyone else to move down there and could only fly or drive North so many times each school year and summer.
We had started the wheels turning to go back North (I kept saying to my hubby--"They (our parents) aren't getting any younger." I learned I was pregnant almost immediately after returning to my family's home. We were trying to get settled--the move had cost us twice what the moving company estimated, so our savings was wiped out quickly. Land near my parents was outrageously priced and if THAT was expensive, land near my husband's parents was so outrageous it made the other look cheap.
My husband got a teaching job (he rocks) in Pennsylvania and we stayed with my folks while I went through a troublesome pregnancy (gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, mild toxicity) and a 36 hour labor. My son was born healthy (and a good size) and we started to look for a better paying job for my husband.
He found it teaching in New Jersey and for a while we were weekend husband and wife. When his Grandmother's health started to fail, we moved in with her and her 50 year old son. That didn't work out well and we started examining other options. My husband's eldest brother started looking for a large piece of land (while Karl was still teaching in NJ) in hopes of having a family-style "commune" (for lack of a better term).
We helped look, knowing that nothing in PA was suitable (price per acre) and the sister-in-law's parents didn't want to drive south of the Mason-Dixon as it would suddenly grow "too hot." Limited by our own economics and wanting to live near family in a rural or nearly rural environment, we helped look at properties. Finally this one was chosen and we suggested we move on up ahead so we could try and get certain chores and things of that sort started.
As soon as it became "real" people interested in living on the land started backing out. The sister-in-law's parents and brother ditched first. They liked the idea of visiting a country home, but not the obligation of living away from certain conveniences. The hubby's brothers (who had toyed with the idea) also renigged. They had started putting down roots elsewhere with their families and in-laws. The landlord/brother-in-law's friends found a suitable commune in Gettysburg. My parents then decided that gun laws and certain other things about New York state made living there a poor choice for them, too.
So we started driving 5 hours to see our loved ones. Granted, it was MUCH less than the 21 we would have driven from Florida, but it grew costlier and more exhausting.
Now we drive down whenever Karl has time (or there's an emergency), but we always wind up feeling pretty ineffective. So please understand if I rant about people living too far from family--I was one that thought being outside the 50 mile norm would be exciting and empowering--a way to strengthen my marriage (and it did). But my mother's rapidly declining health has shown me I made a mistake in my timing and geography. I hope you all don't make the same errors I have.
Take care,
Shannon
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